Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Culture Shock (TIB)

Mayze T. 

It was certainly the longest time I had ever been on an airplane. Eight long hours, none of which I slept through. When we finally touched down, I was exhausted. As we disembarked, a man came up to us and convinced us, in our disgruntled state, to allow him to drive us to our hotel. Needless to say, we were ripped off and charged three times the usual fare. Despite the scam, the drive into Istanbul was beautiful. Here was a city where two thousand year old buildings stood alongside newly constructed skyscrapers. Smells of spices filled the streets, people were yelling to each other in the bazaar, and taxis were speeding down narrow roads. It seemed like something out of a movie, or an adventure novel. Turkey was culture shock, to be sure, but it changed my perspective on the world and often pushed me out of my comfort zone.
            Getting to Turkey was, in essence, an accident. If you remember, last spring a volcano erupted in Iceland. We were originally going to go to Sicily, to go biking and look at the ancient Greek ruins. Then, about two days before our plane was scheduled to leave, that volcano erupted. So my dad booked the last two seats on the last flight available to Turkey, an area unaffected by the ash cloud, booked got us a room in a hotel, and left. We had no plans and no understanding of the culture. The only thing that we had to tell us about Turkey was a guidebook, purchased that very day. But, one plane ride later, we were in one of the greatest cities on earth.
            One of the most difficult parts about being in Turkey was the language. The written language of Turkish has little resemblance to the spoken language, so the guidebook that we had was essentially useless.  Unlike some other European tourist destinations, it was very difficult to find people who spoke any English other than “Hello” This was more than a little uncomfortable and unnerving. I didn’t know anybody, and I couldn’t even ask for directions in Turkish. Throughout the trip, with the help of a few very kind taxi drivers, we learned a few basic phrases, although my intonation left something to be desired.
            There are many, many differences between Turkey and America. The language, the religion, the headscarves, and the foods, to name a few, but to me the most obvious was the bargaining.  Instead of going into a store, reading the price on a label, and paying for an item, most stores in Turkey are the sites of intense price wars. The first example that comes to mind was during a trip to the Grand Bazaar. We had made our way to the middle of the shopping area, to a t-shirt stall. There, we found a shirt that my brother would love. It was blue, with the word “Istanbul” on it, and a picture of a mosque and red fish. We went over to the man sitting behind the counter. “Melhaba,” my dad greeted him, “How much for this shirt?” he asked. The man gave us a once over, and said, “Forty Lira.” My dad just laughed. “How about ten?” he replied. There was a long back and forth in English and a smattering of Turkish that resulted in us walking away, the shop owner threatening to close down his shop, and us finally buying three shirts for twenty-five lira. Throughout the course of the day, we had tea with a Pakistani man, I was supposed to be married in two years, and we got free ice cream. Now that I had seen the “master” at work, it was supposed to be my turn to try bargaining. I was more than reluctant, because I was purely uncomfortable with the situation. However, my dad convinced me, and thus, we went over to the bookstalls. There I found a pretty neat Turkish cookbook that had English translations. This was where I learned that the one thing that you cannot haggle for in Turkey is a book. I went up to the owner, who looked very confused when I tried to haggle. Despite the fact that everything else has a negotiable price tag in Turkey, a book does not. Still, I’m very glad that I tried, because, let’s face it, there are not a lot of chances to argue over the price of things in New Canaan, Connecticut.
            After about five days in Istanbul, we took a plane down to the more rural area of Turkey, the area closer to Greece. A friend of my dad’s had a house here, and he let us stay in it for the few days that we were there. What struck me about this area of Turkey was the kindness and friendliness of the people. In case you didn’t already know, Turkey is a primarily Muslim country. We heard the Imams calling, saw minarets on the skyline, and I was one of the very few girls not wearing a headscarf. Thanks to Mr. McDonough’s World Cultures class, I already knew that the majority of Muslims were not radical extremists, but if you turn on the news, you’ll hear about terrorist groups and bombings in the Middle East. News giants, such as CNN, NBC, and FOX, seem intent on making all Middle Eastern Muslims out to be evil. Although the actions of terrorist groups are cruel and terrible, what these stations fail to mention is that the majority of Muslims are not evil. They are normal people, going about their lives and practicing their faith. They were perfectly fine with the fact that I was not a Muslim, and with the fact that I was an American.
            So on this trip I learned a few things. To start I learned smattering of Turkish and what not to haggle for in a bazaar. However, what Turkey really taught me was that, no matter what the newscasters have to say, and no matter where you are, people are able to get along. Muslim, or Christian, or Jewish, or Buddhist, or Atheist, we can overlook our differences, and accept each other. This, I believe.


Core Beliefs (TIB)

Aisha M. 



No matter where I may roam in life, I will always have my family. Family is the heart that keeps the spirit alive. Family will always be there no matter what situation a person may be in, cheering them on. My family has urged me to go out into the world and experience new things, to take risks that they thought were necessary for me to take. They give me all the love and comfort I could ever imagine in this world. But last year I had a true reality check.
Last fall was very hard for me. My grandfather passed away at the age of sixty-eight. I remember that when I was a little girl, my grandfather used to take me on some of his trips. One trip in particular sticks out most in my mind. My grandfather wanted to go to Pennsylvania to visit a friend. Of course, I went with him.  The trip there was very memorable. We were on the Jersey Turnpike and he stopped off at a rest stop. I was very thirsty and wanted a soda, so he bought me one. Little did he know that it made me EXTREMELY hyper. The rest of the way there was spent by me singing, screaming, and laughing randomly. That was his last time buying me a soda while I was in the car with him.
Before my grandfather got sick, he used to take my brother and me to IHop and then to Cherry Lawn Park every Sunday. He would chase us on the playground and push us on the swings. We would play hide-and-seek which was very fun, even though he would always find me. We would stay out for hours, enjoying the park and enjoying each other’s company. He would tell us stories on the way back home about the time he and his friend sued Richard Nixon for small businesses and won, as well as many other interesting and bizarre stories.  
 My grandfather had five strokes and was paralyzed on his left side. After his fourth stroke he also couldn’t speak and was placed into a nursing home. My family would go see him whenever we had the opportunity. Sometimes, we would take him out for a ride or sit outside with him, just so he could enjoy the outdoors. We would have many “remember when” times when we just sat down and reminisced about the good times we all had together. It was very hard to see him in these conditions and it hurt all of us deeply to see him that way.
After a while, my grandfather became very ill. He then had to be transported from the nursing home to Stamford Hospital. We went to visit him often because we all knew that the time that we could spend with him would soon be over. I remember the last time I saw him.     My family from Virginia came up to see him as well. Some of my family members left the room with tears in their eyes. I too started to cry. Before leaving, I kissed him on the forehead and said “I love you”. That was the last time I kissed him. A few hours later, I got the news that he died. It was very hard to accept that he was gone forever, and to this day, it still is. I love him so much and miss him a lot.  
I urge you all to enjoy the time you have with your family, for tomorrow is not promised and not a single human is immortal. Say “I love you” until you can’t say it anymore. Hug each other until your arms get tired. Laugh, cry, and smile about the good times. Be there for one another. My grandfather taught me that life isn’t promised to anyone tomorrow. He spent as much time as he could with my family and enjoyed each minute of it. He stressed the importance of family and told me that nothing comes above them. Although it took me a while to understand, I now know. Time with family is precious and should be cherished forever.   

Parents are on your side (TIB)

Matt E.



Parents seem like they are the bad guys all the time, but they are there to help you. All children at some point in time will get sick of their parents always being in their way. After fifteen years, I have finally come to a conclusion that they are there to help you. They tell you to get off Facebook or IM when you are supposed to be doing homework, and they nag you to do stuff that you don’t want to do. This is because they want you to do well in life and not fail. I believe if you take their advice 95% of the time, you will end up somewhere where you and your parents  want you to be.  
People can view this topic two ways. The first is that parents are not on your side and that they are there to just annoy you, and the other is that they are always on your back because they want you to do well.  I know everyone can relate to this and that everyone feels both ways about this at certain times. 
Obviously no one hates their parents; it’s just that on certain days and certain times of the day, parents tend to get annoying. If you are an only child, I feel bad for you. I feel bad because you get all of your parents’ attention. But if you are not an only child, you lucked out. You are lucky for several reasons;  you do not have to do all the chores such as dishes, and your parents are not watching you do your homework all the time. This can be good and bad.
 
Right when I walk in the door, my mom asks how my day was. I obviously say the same thing every time, “It was good, mom.” She then asks me what I learned, and I say “nothing.” Because I told her I had a good day, she expects me to do my homework right away and get it done. But what my mom does not know is that I say my day was good so I can go somewhere else and do other stuff. Thirty minutes later she will come upstairs and see how I am doing on my homework. She will usually find me on Facebook or playing a game. She then gets upset because I am not doing my homework. But those times she finds me on Facebook or playing a game are the days that I am upset or stressed out. It is a miscommunication problem. I know that if I told her I had a bad day and I wanted to relax and chill, she would be ok with that.  There are reasons I do not tell my mom about how my day went. First of all, she will ask me a lot of questions if I told her it was bad, and if it was good, she would ask why. Sometimes I tell her, but most of the time I keep it to myself because I am not in the happiest mood to get into a deep conversation. 
In the end, parents aren’t the bad guys. They are the good guys trying to help you succeed in life. They want to be proud of what their son or daughter does. They might be annoying a lot of the time, but if you listen and take their advice that 95 % of the time, I will guarantee you that you will have a good life. A good life to me is a life without stress or drama, and enjoying what you do. Parents can help with the stress part, if you let them, but they can’t help with the social aspect. No one wants parents knowing about your social life at school. It is not that kids are trying to hide it; it’s just that we would prefer to keep it to ourselves. Sometimes parents can give you advice about the situation if there is a problem, but the best thing to do is not to get your parents involved.  My last word to everyone is to appreciate your parents while you have them, later in life, you will wish you had them to support you. 

Finding Myself (TIB)

Charlotte M.



Staying true to yourself is one of the hardest things you have to learn. During life, you will overcome a lot of obstacles, in which you may lose yourself. Maybe you start to become someone your friends want you to be, or someone you make yourself become to impress people, or you just decide you don’t really like yourself. But you must hold on to the you that is really you. Staying true to yourself is one of the most important things, and I learned this over a few very confusing school years. 
Going to a new school is hard for everyone. You have to meet new people, make new friends, adjust to new teachers and schedules and workloads. I moved through three different schools all in about three years. I moved from my old school in Georgia to a school in New Canaan for about one and a half years, then to Cider Mill in Wilton for fourth grade, then to New Canaan Country School in fifth. I got used to being the new girl, and I got used to not having friends for a while. I also became a pro at adjusting. 
When I came into New Canaan Country School in fifth grade, I noticed how preppy everyone was. I noticed all the Polo shirts, all the Lilly Pulitzer, the khakis and ballet flats and cardigans. It was all pretty new to me – I had only ever been in public schools before, and I didn’t even notice what people wore when I lived in Georgia. At first, I didn’t think too much of it. But after a while, I noticed the definitive groups – the “popular” group and then everyone else. I figured out the social hierarchy. I noticed how they dressed and acted, and I realized the difference between them and me. They seemed to always wear at least one of the following: J. Crew, headbands, ballet flats or an Abercrombie shirt. They seemed to all really like lacrosse, and basically, they all lived in New Canaan (but I couldn’t do much about that.) Of course, the only thing that television teaches you when you’re little is how the “popular” group works, and how it’s basically every girl’s struggle to try and get into that group. So, I figured that’s what I had to do. 
I decided to start with clothing. Clothing is how everyone expresses himself or herself, and it can also be the basis of friendships. If you dress alike, then you probably have similar tastes in other things too.  So, I started wanting to look like the other girls here at school. I started wearing more J. Crew (a LOT more J. Crew), more Polo shirts, and khaki pants. Before, I didn’t really care too much about what I looked like. All of a sudden, it meant so much to me. 
Teenagers are stereotyped. And in that stereotype, there is the classic struggle that we have of trying to figure out who we are. Which is totally true, by the way.  So, I was going through this, but it seemed so much harder because I didn’t even know the old me. I had tried so hard to please other people that I didn’t even hang out with that I had forgotten the person I was before. My closet was riddled with Polo shirts and cardigans, which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing – but it wasn’t me. I had tried so hard to impress others that I forgot to remember myself. The self who likes Converse, enjoys photography and art, and who likes to listen to alternative rock music and write. 
It took a long time before I realized that it actually didn’t matter.  Eighth grade was when I really got a grip on those things. The friends that I had already accepted me for who I was, and they loved me for it. I didn’t need to impress them, or change myself to please them. The only person I needed to please was myself, and I felt so much better when I learned this. It’s hard enough, being a teenager, without having to backtrack and find the real you, who got lost somewhere on the way. So, what I want to tell you all is that staying true to yourself is really one of the most important things. I’m Charlotte Murphy, and this I believe.